An Essay on the Color Pink

For most of my life I hated pink. Refused to have anything to do with the color. No clothes or accessories in it. Pink was a four letter word.

Here in my thirties, I have pink hair and am wearing a matching sweater in the highlighter version of the color. My mom commented the other day on my reversal of views, exclaiming “I couldn’t believe when you had on pink at your wedding!” Referring to my grapefruit colored petticoat. I didn’t know how to explain in the moment why I have had this change of heart, and I have been thinking about it a lot lately.

When I was a kid and even more when I was a teenager, pink was the symbol of everything I fought against being perceived as. Pink was Barbie airheaded-ness. Pink was not taken seriously. Pink was not respected or powerful. Pink was weak. 

Above all in my younger life I desperately wanted to be strong and self reliant, respected for my knowledge and skills. I wanted to be taken as seriously as the boys, not patted on the head and called “cute”. Pink was cute.

Now, after working in my field for a decade and figuring out how to live a life I am proud of, and comfortable in, I am finally able to embrace pink. The color no longer has the power to define me. I have found the confidence to know that I will be seen and respected by the people that matter to me for what I bring to the table.  I have worked hard through self-doubt and anxiety to find a mental space where I can be comfortable being feminine without the worry that it will allow others to dismiss me.

It may seem odd to give this much power to a color. But pink has been a gendered color for generations. I see it every day in my social media feed as friends and acquaintances have children and gender reveal parties. I have been very lucky to have met a wonderful group of strong women over the years that I can call friends. Some of them are raising kids. I know as they go about the business of motherhood many of them think about the issues with these kinds of stereotypes and the baggage that can come along with something as innocuous as the color of clothes and toys.

I have made my peace with pink, but it was hard won.